


Private

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:07:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4142319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q is an independent hacker working with (never for) only those who he deems worthy from the safety of his own private island. He has a soft spot for certain two agents that work for MI6 and does his best to keep the two alive. One day the two drop in on him quite literary.</p><p>Based off a Tumblr prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Private

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt was: A plane carrying person B (and C) crashes by person A’s home. Person A does all they can to help survivors, but only finds a few, including person B (and C).
> 
> Longer than expected, rewritten twice. Please forgive any and all mistakes and most of all, please enjoy :)

He loved his private little island, in the middle of the ocean, secret to all people and newest technology thanks his abilities. He wasn’t hiding the island because it was full of gold or jewels or anything like that. No, the only precious and interesting thing on his island that most of the world’s agencies - be they legal or illegal - was himself, or rather his mind.

 

Now some would consider him paranoid and full of himself, going through so much trouble to buy an island and then erase all traces of the transaction and his new home from all the digital maps available as well as build his own personal radar jammers and currently working on solar panels that could also render the island invisible from the planes that rarely few over it, but Q considered himself cautious. After all, he was the best hacker in the world and no, he was not full of himself when he said that.

 

His services were sought by everyone, but he only offered them to those he considered worthy and who paid what he asking for without complaining or trying to bargain too much. And he occasionally hacked MI6 and MI5 to lend them a helping hand just because a part of his soul was still loyal to that big island and its ruler.

 

MI6 tried to find him and offer him a job as R with the promise of being promoted to Quartermaster, while the CIA accused him of being a cyber-terrorist - never mind he had just helped them fumble an attack on the white house, ungrateful rednecks - and threatened to hunt him down and execute him if he refused to come work for them. He politely turned MI6, but the CIA ended up seeing just how wrathful he could be, the agency needed a week to get everything working okay. Even their coffee makers and fridges had been affected by Q - and he laughed so much when he saw that CIA insisted to have an internet connection even on those appliances. Who had that, really?

 

It turned out that Q should have been more suspicious and pay more attention to MI6, the young man finding himself cornered by three regular agents in his apartment that was in London just a few days later after he had refused their request. He didn’t give them time to talk, his PCs starting to produce smoke after he touched the right keys and he was shocked when one of the agents threw himself over him to protect him from the explosion that was imminent as far he was convinced - although not as shocked as the agent itself, the man thrown on the other side of the room and spasming for a few minutes while Q quickly made himself scarce.

 

That was the day Q promised himself to never help MI6 ever gain, even though he would never keep that promise. His heart simply wouldn’t let him sleep well if he knew people who risked their lives for a good cause were being killed because of faulty information. Especially if among those people, agents 006 and 007 – or should he called them by their real names, Alec Trevelyan and James Bond? – were involved, Q falling in love with their voices and jokes the first time he heard them talk.

 

In all honestly, those two were the most danger prone people Q had ever interacted with, needing his help to get out finish their missions in one piece almost constantly. And after they realized that there was someone more competent than their IT branch looking out for them, they threw all caution to the wind. James actually started to flirt even more over the coms, always telling the Quartermaster that he wasn’t talking with him and that he should ignore him – ‘I do my best, 007. But is not enough” – while Alec outright proposed their guardian angel to meet up with them both and have sex.

 

“You can blindfold me, if you don’t want me to know who you are. The idea of giving you so much control turns me on more than you can imagine,” Alec said while at a bar in the middle of a mission, the bartender slowly stepping away from him.

 

Q swore he heard the man’s retainer hit his head on the desk repeatedly. “Do try not to blow your cover, 006. I doubt that your benefactor would be able to save you if you did.”

 

The young hacker was tempted to give in to the request and set up a meeting with the man, pulling up his file picture just to further torment himself. Both men were drop dead gorgeous as far as Q was concerned and kind of understood why both men and women threw themselves in their beds, accepting to be walked on or killed just for a single night of passion with them. But Q was not their type at all.

 

He was tall, skinny, his hair refused to listen to him and his eyesight was so bad that he couldn’t see six feet in front of him if he did not have his glasses on. The people the two lured in always looked like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine, so he simply had to satisfy himself with just his imagination.

 

They were also a couple. A strange one where they didn’t mind when one slept with other people, although since they were both agents, sex might have turned into something completely meaningless to them and their entire relationship was based on the fact that they could easily sleep next to each other without the fear of waking up with a bullet in their brain or a knife in their back.

 

Not that they hid the fact that they were together from him – which Q though was completely stupid since hey, what if he was actually a bad guy trying to get their trust and find out their weakness and decide to use one against the other? Not that he was, but the possibility was still there and he really thought them to be completely irresponsible and stupid for revealing something like that to him while at the same time, honoured for how much they trusted him.

 

Though they could have thought of a nicer way to reveal that they were a thing to Q, if anyone were to ask him. It was during their first mission together with Q watching over them and Alec suddenly said that they needed help, not from their branch but from their guardian angel.

 

“Actually, Q branch better butt out right now,” the man had said. “We just need our little angel to look at something. If you’d access our laptop’s webcam?”

 

Their watchers, five in total just because M wanted to be sure the agents could be controlled, were less than happy to hear Alec’s open hacking invitation and they were quite vocal about it. So much so that Q decided he had more than enough of them and cut their connections before using a word document to let the two spies know that he was there.

 

James nodded towards the camera with a little smile and Alec jumped on the bed and waved excitedly, just like a small child. “Okay, so it is not quite an emergency in the real sense of the word, but it was still something important we wanted to share with you,” he admitted as he leaned over to James.

 

 _Are you familiar with the story about the boy who cried wolf, agent?_ Q quickly typed, sighing in relief. _I am quite busy and if this is MI6’s attempt at tracking me, I regret to inform the both of you that it’s quite impossible to do._

 

James shook his head, before slowly starting to unbutton Alec’s shirt, much to Q’s complete shock. “MI6 has nothing to do with this, but we thought you might be tempted to join us via camera and maybe, if you like what you see, join us in person the next time?”

 

The two were actually video chatting with him in the middle of a mission. Was he really surprised by that? _You have two Triad heads working with Russian extremists to take you down and recover the program you stole from them and you are inviting me to watch porn?_

 

James broke away from Alec, tilting his head to the side to give the man access. “I find this quite good for stress, as does my Alec.” He took a sharp breath of air when the man bit down hard on his neck. “And we thought you might need a little bit of stress relief yourself since you’ve been with us every step of the way. Are you a man or a woman?”

 

He let his eyes close for a moment and allowed his mind to imagine himself between them, enjoying their light touches, harsh kisses and hungry bites. But a little alarm on a program he was running in the background snapped by back to reality. _I am someone who makes sure you two don’t get shot and that is all you need to know._

 

“Something in-between is also quite exciting,” Alec offered. “Or maybe you’re not interested in us?”

 

 _You two would reach that conclusion, wouldn’t you?_ Q chuckled at the way James rolled his eyes when Alec started to pull his own pants off, to prance around the room and let him see that he looked quite appetizing.

 

“I swear we can also be mature,” James muttered, shaking his head.

 

 _You two are almost perfect the way you are. I am happy for you. I have to go. Please don’t get shot._ He shut their laptop off before either of them could say anything and immersed himself in his new project, happy that he had found something to distract himself from how tight his pants had become or the feeling of regret and slight jealousy that filled him. It wasn’t as if they were going to ever meet, Q too afraid that they’d mock him for whatever reason.

 

But then one day, seven or so months after Q fell for them, they literally fell from the sky, the small airplane the two were using to escape from a particular pissed off former KGB agent turned arms dealer for terrorists crashing and going up in smoke only a few meters away from his hut.

 

At first, he thought that no one he escaped the horrible crash, but something in his mind told him to check the island for any possible survivors anyway and ten minutes later, he was wrestling the two down from a tree and out of their parachutes, trying not to hurt them anymore than they already were.

 

007 was out cold, but 006 was barely holding on to his consciousness and when his green eyes met Q’s, the man tried to strangle him, cussing him in Russian and promising him a painful death if James was hurt in any way. Q was lucky that the man passed out before he breathed his last breath, sighing as he collapsed on top of him, pushing Q to the ground.

 

“Not what I had in mind when I dreamt of having you on top of me, double oh six,” Q muttered softly, bringing a hand covered in the man’s blood to caress the scarred side of his face.

 

After he managed to get the two back to his hut – and thanked himself for splurging on the bed and getting a king sized one even if he was the only one who slept in it –, he sent an SOS to the only person with medical training he trusted with his exact location, asking the woman to bring everything she had that could be used to save lives.

 

When she reached the island, Q could swear that she was ready to faint in relief when she saw that it wasn’t he who needed her help but two strangers. She seemed a bit reluctant to work on them there, but did so nonetheless. “I could bring them back to the mainland with me, Q.” She offered as she checked their life signs one more time before she left, just so Q could be sure that they wouldn’t die the moment she left. “Say that I found these two floating on a piece of wood while I was out fishing.”

 

“No!” Q screamed suddenly, startling the woman. “Trust me, best if they stay here. It is safer for everyone involved.” He turned to his main computer and touched a few keys, a large sum of money bouncing from one account to another until it reached the doctor’s, making it seem that she had been refunded from some faulty equipment.

 

She left the island worried, begging Q to call her if anything even feels slightly off, pushing a small gun in his hands. “Just in case. They don’t look like the kind of people you would want to be around when they are awake.” She frowned again and brought out her phone, wanting to take a picture of the men, but Q asked her to put it away.

 

“I know them and I trust them. Please trust me and put your phone away,” he begged the woman and she reluctantly did so, knowing that if she didn’t, Q could easily ruin her phone completely.

 

Q slept on the floor next to them, getting up to wipe the sweat off of their well-toned bodies, force down their throats the pills they were supposed to take, changing their bandages so their wounds wouldn’t get infected and keeping a digital eye on all the channels he knew, just to be sure that no one was coming after them.

 

Their enemies celebrated their deaths almost instantly, drowning in champagne and already discussing new plans that were sure to work since the biggest obstacles had been removed. Q scoffed at that, amazed that they could be so stupid. Hadn’t they learned from the past that 006 and 007 had already cheated death more than they should?

 

MI6 wasn’t brighter, ceasing their searches after a week, although Q discovered that there were quite a few people from within the organization that still held hope that two agents were alive somewhere, desperately sending coded messages that begged the two to stop their game and return home, promising leniency towards all the things they blew up and all the equipment that they had ruined.

 

“Well, I suppose that you can’t ask for anything more or better than loyal friends and dumb enemies in this line of duty, right?” Q muttered, looking back at the two still sleeping men and silently cursing himself for giving in and placing a kiss on each of their foreheads.

 

After he made sure that the island was still hidden from the rest of the world and deciding on an order for the jobs he had taken for tomorrow, he stretched and flopped on his stomach next to the mattress, dragging a flimsy blanket over himself.

 

Unbeknownst to him, the men were more than wide awake, both of them waiting until his breathing told them that he had fallen asleep before slowly starting to move. Alec was the first one to sit up, biting his lips to the point of drawing blood to keep himself from groaning in pain.

 

He had to cover his mouth to keep himself from letting out a shocked noise when he saw what their jailor looked like, tapping James’ side twice to get the man to open his eyes, asking him in sign language if what he was seeing was right: a young man sleeping with his ass slightly in the air, pillow tucked under his stomach, hands in a strange position by his side and a pair of glasses just out of his reach.

 

After that, Alec’s hands started to moved chaotically as if he were shouting, making it really hard for James to understand what he was trying to say, but he did imagine that it would be the same as when his partner found something very shocking that he couldn’t understand and sent him in a rant in Russian which, sometimes, was shouted.

 

James glanced around the room, eyes falling on the computer screens that ran programs he couldn’t make any sense of and normally, he was supposed to contact MI6 and inform M and his quartermaster that they were alive and that they came across a very interesting computer, but he was James Bond.

 

That meant that he was almost allergic to following normal procedure and anyway, the thing looked so complex that he was sure the major himself would need a few good months to make sense of it if the creator of the program didn’t want to reveal its secrets.

 

Despite that belief, the agent carefully stepped over the sleeping man and sat in front of it, moving the mouse around and hitting random keys, hoping to find out at least the time and date, if not what it was supposed to do or where they were.

 

“You don’t have the right prints to make that keyboard do anything for you,” the soft voice that had talked with them said and James turned around to see beautiful and unfocused green eyes staring up at him. A thought entered his mind that he wouldn’t mind those eyes looking like that at him with need and adoration reflecting in them.

 

Alec had positioned himself behind the young man and brought his hand up, ready to knock him out if needed, but relaxed when he saw his partner shaking his head. “And what is the name of the man who saved us? Or should I say child, since you look like you are a backpack away from school,” James teased.

 

“If that’s the case,” the young man started, putting his glasses on and pulling himself up from the floor, “Then I need to go make a walking stick for you and then call the cops, seeing that you were hitting on me for the nth time only a couple of weeks ago.”

 

Alec’s hand shot out and pulled Q down on the bed, running his hands through the wild, brown hair and laughing at the offended glare he was receiving. “James, I am upset. I thought we shared everything and yet here you are, keeping this little fiery treasure a secret from me.”

 

But James was frowning, hands crossed over his chest. He wasn’t as old as the young man was implying and his memory was quite good since he was able to easily remember the faces of everyone he had met. “I assure you that I have never met him in my life.”

 

“Not face to face, no. But I helped both of you quite a lot of times.” He sat up and turned to smile at Alec, extending his hand. “You asked me if I was a boy or a girl during a very interesting show, if you remember. I will not mention the blindfold suggestion from Alec and the countless lame pickup lines you used on me, James.”

 

He wasn’t fast enough to dodge the agent who threw himself at him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him on top of him. It was clear from the frown that Alec was in pain, but doing everything to ignore it and Q really couldn’t start to struggle because he was afraid that he’d hurt the man even more – though he promised himself that he wouldn’t hold back from kicking him in the stomach if the agent did something he didn’t like.

 

“I like this Q, James.” Alec announced after he was sure his voice wouldn’t betray the fact that he wanted to chew at least five bottles of painkillers. “I could have your voice whisper orders in my ears until the day I get a bullet lodged between my eyes.” He brushed his lips against the man’s cheek, more than enjoying the soft red that spread on him. He wanted to see what colour Q would turn if he kissed him on the mouth, but stopped him by kicking him in the head.

 

“Alec, don’t play with our saviour and host. It’s extremely rude. Especially since we don’t know if he’s bothered by all the attention we are showing him, though I do hope he’s not because I can’t imagine keeping away from him for too long.” He turned to face Q with his most charming smile, waiting for an answer.

 

Q blushed a bit, clearing his throat and deciding that the floor was a bit more interesting than the intense blue eyes that were trained on him. “I am not adverse to that, no.”

 

James ended up slapping the other man’s hands away from Q and helped the young man to sit up. “I’m sorry, I keep forgetting that he’s untrainable.” He didn’t bother to dodge the pillow that was thrown at his head. “So that is why that little Q letter appeared whenever it was expected of us to hack into something dangerous? Because you were there with us, making sure we didn’t do something that blew up the planet?”

 

“Well, you are a good agents, knowing when to fire a gun and when not to, but I am afraid that certain technology goes above your heads.” He yawned and pulled his glasses off, rubbing his eyes and looking extremely vulnerable, awakening the need to protect in both men. “If you two are not going to use the bed anymore, I think I’ll go back to sleep.”

 

Alec grabbed him and pulled him down on the bed, throwing the blankets over him and pulling him against his chest, entangling their legs. “I think you’ll be quite comfortable like this, Q.” He started to gently massage the back of his neck, trying to ease the tension out of him.

 

“You are very trusting of spies,” James pointed out, walking to the door and opening it, taking a peek outside to see if he could figure out where they were. “Even wounded and high on the painkillers you must have fed us while we were asleep, we still wouldn’t have a hard time tying you up and taking you back with us to London.”

 

Q realized that he should feel afraid or at least a little scared at what he was hearing, but he knew they wouldn’t do that – and maybe Alec’s firm touch was also to blame for how little he currently cared that he was completely defenceless and at the mercy of two very dangerous people that had a licence to kill.

 

“True, but I know you won’t,” the young man muttered, yawning again and moving closer to Alec without realizing. His touch was much hotter and firmer than he had imagined and if this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.

 

James walked back to the bed and got under the covers, leaning over to Alec so they could share a small kiss before starting to play with Q’s curls. “No, no we wouldn’t. You saved far too many times for us to betray you like that, love,” he whispered in the young man’s ear, making him shiver.

 

Q woke up completely alone, but he didn’t panic. The two agents weren’t known for sticking too long in a place or with a person if their purpose was served. And, although that knowledge made him feel sad and empty, he didn’t hold it against them. However, he still groaned when he realized that the bot they surely took had a backup laptop hidden on it and that he would have to spend the first hour of his day erasing everything on it.

 

And then there was the issue of him making the most horrifyingly embarrassing phone call to his friend to ask her to come pick him off of the island and go boat shopping with him. “She won’t ever let me live this down,” he groaned and hid his face under the pillow, trying to get lost in the men’s scents and go back to sleep.

 

“Who won’t let you live what down, Q?” Alec’s voice filled the room, startling him so much that he jumped back and bumped against the headboard. The man dropped the large fish he was carrying and hurried over to him, rubbing his head.

 

“Is that a baby shark? Did you really catch a baby shark even though you are wounded and you’re not supposed to strain yourself too much?” Q scolded the man, slapping his hands away and covering his nose.

 

“It was James’ idea and shark meat is quite good,” Alec quickly defended himself and moved closer to Q, pouting when the man ducked under the covers.

 

“If you get the smell stuck in the bed, I’ll be most crossed with you.” Q threatened, amused when he felt the man jump out of the bed, poking his head out just in time to see the older man wrestle the predator out of his hut.

 

He caught himself sighing in relief, a feeling of happiness washing over him at the thought that the two men were still with him. Maybe they had decided to extend their little vacation away from MI6, but he wasn’t about to ask them if that was the case, fearing that it would make the two feel unwelcomed there.

 

After his tea was done, he sat down in front of his computers and started to work on his projects, breezing through the first two. It was curious that his cup always had warm tea and he realized James was to blame when he turned to crack his neck and caught a glimpse of the blond man watching him from the bed.

 

“I didn’t come from money. I need to work to sustain myself and owning an island, small as it is, isn’t exactly the cheapest thing in the universe,” Q offered slowing down his typing when the man rested his chin against the top of his head as he tried to make sense of what exactly he was doing.

 

“Are you…”

 

“It’s not illegal in the sense you are thinking. I am currently hacking the NSA on their request after which I will present them with a list of all the flaws I found and ways they could improve their security systems.” He picked up his mug and tried to sip casually at his tea while James was brushing his lips against his neck. The agent probably wanted something from him.

 

“Aren’t you afraid they’ll try to hack back and locate where you are? Or that you will do such a good job that you’ll put yourself out of business?”

 

It was really becoming hard for him to focus on what he was doing, eyes fluttering close when the agent started to suck lightly. “Their hacking attempts are laughable and easily blocked,” He let out a little whimper, trying to push himself away from the man before he did something, but James easily held the chair in place and continued to nibble, lick and kiss his neck. “And there will always be new ways to enter a system, so they will come… James, what are you…?” he trailed off, eyes fluttering closed.

 

James turned the chair around and started to unbutton Q’s shirt. “Testing to see if you taste as exotic as I think you do.” He cupped Q’s chin and tilted his head back, taking off his glasses before giving him a kiss.

 

Q wrapped his arms around the man’s neck and was more than eager to return the kiss, his mind completely shutting off. James’ touch made him feel like he was on fire and before he realized what was happening, he had his shirt pulled over his head and thrown on the other side of the room and his pants unzipped.

 

“Alec and I would love to hear you whisper in our ears all the time, to have you guide us and scold us when we do wrong,” James muttered against his skin, licking his earlobe and then biting down on his shoulder. “And we’d be more careful on our missions if you were waiting for us back home. Would you return to MI6 with us? It is basically on a larger island and you will be treated like a god by everyone, I guarantee it.”

 

Ah, so that was it, Q thought a bit disappointed, sliding his hands down James’ chest and poking the side that was bandaged. “You’re lucky I like you too much to feel insulted by your little Mata Hari act.” He poked the wound again, this time harder, forcing James to jump away in pain. “I still have a lot of work to do, so go hunt sharks with Alec or better still, make sure he doesn’t get eaten by one.”

 

James had the decency to actually do what he was told without commenting which was a first for him. He went outside where Alec intercepted him and dragged him to where he was trying to cut up the shark and prepare it, not noticing that his partner worse the face he usually did when he did something extremely stupid.

 

Q did not leave the hut at all and every time James or Alec checked in on the young man, refilling his cup of tea or giving him plates with fruits or whatever edible things they found in the large fridge Q had outside.

 

He was convinced to go outside and dine with the two men only when Alec’s head suddenly appeared on his lap, the man looking up at him with pleading green eyes before going into an overly dramatic presentation of how hard it had been for him to catch the shark and then turn it into a wonderful meal for Q to eat.

 

“Fine, fine, I’ll come to eat with you as soon as I am done making sure we’re still safe.” He focused back on the computer screen, pulling a face at the unnaturally large hacking attempts his systems had interrupted. Even if he took out of the equation the attempts from the NSA, it was still a big number. “Hm, I have to check the other logs just to be sure, but…”

 

Alec grabbed his arm and dragged him outside, so strong that he didn’t even register the fact that Q was putting up a struggle. “My cooking first, your computer later, Q.”

 

He was surprised to find that the two men had set up a sort of night picnic, a large fire built in a pit that was a few feet away from a blanket set on something that looked like a low table – which couldn’t be because Q had no such things on his island – that was filled with plates of fresh fruits and cooked fish.

 

It looked like a scene taken directly out of the lamest romantic movie, but it kind of moved Q a bit and it was clear that both men had put a lot of effort into everything. Plus this was the first time anyone did anything for him without expecting him to hack into some Swiss bank or something and Alec looked so excited and happy that Q really couldn’t mock or poke fun at the scene.

 

He was sat between the two, huffing a little when James shot him a little apologetic smile and focused instead on his food. Of course Alec noticed the whole exchange and frowned, signalling to the other man that he wanted the whole story after the dinner was done.

 

Q was a bit unsure of what he was being offered at first, but the moment his tongue touched what Alec had cooked, he felt like he had died and gone to heaven. His eyes closed instantly and he moaned without realizing it. “This is wonderful. I had no idea that you could cook, Alec.” He jumped back when he opened his eyes and Alec was right in front of them, holding another piece of fish to his lips.

 

“Despite him loving fire and explosions a bit too much while out in the field,” James started, groaning when he received a kick in the shins, “Alec is the best cook I know. If it wasn’t for him, I’d spend a lot of money eating out or ordering in.”

 

Alec grabbed the fork from Q’s hands and tossed it somewhere on the beach, deciding that the only way the young man could truly appreciate his cooking only if he was being fed by someone. Not that Q was bothered by that, even brushing his tongue against the other man’s fingers.

 

Yet when James tried to do that, Q frowned and turned his head away. Not that he could blame the young man for being upset with him, but he had hoped that by some sort of miracle, between earlier today and now, he would have forgiven him.

 

Funnily enough, he wasn’t even trying to convince Q to come to MI6 with sex. His original intention was to have an actual conversation with the young man about the possibility of him working with them officially, but then got distracted by his smell, the way some strands of his hair tickled him and beckoned him to move closer and when his eyes fell on the exposed skin, he lost it.

 

Not that it excused him for what he did, so he decided that a proper apology was more than needed. He took Q’s hand in his, Alec trailing off. “I am afraid that my actions from earlier might have been misinterpreted. I didn’t want it to come off like it did and I am actually begging you to believe me when I tell you that I would never try to get you to do something you didn’t want to do by using sex or the promise of torture.”

 

Alec would have probably hit him if Q hadn’t been between them. “You tried to make him do what by using what now?” The way Alec’s face had turned red would have been quite comical if it wasn’t for the fact that it was a clear indication of how upset he was. “Let’s all pretend that I’m suddenly horrible at understanding English and you run that past me again, James.”

 

Q shook his head, trying his best not to start laughing. “I don’t know how you managed to make it sound worse than it was.” He picked up a piece of fish with his free hand and fed it to him, James latching on to his hand, licking it clean before kissing the inside of his palm and his wrist. “We’re all friends again, but I will say this to both of you only once: I do not want to go back to England. I do not want to work for MI6 and nothing can get me to change my mind.”

 

Alec turned his head towards him and kissed him, James still holding on to his hand. “I only share with James. You at MI6 would mean that everyone could get your low and delicious voice in their ear and I’m not sure we’re allowed to use our licence to kill on other agents that are our colleagues and are not traitors?” He actually turned to look at James to confirm that, making Q laugh at how disappointed he looked when he didn’t get the answer he was hoping for.

 

“I am helping other agents from all sorts of agencies that I consider worthy of my time via texts. But rest assured that only you two know how I look. The agents that MI6 sent after me woke up with short term memory problems.” He moved to pat Alec’s head, the man mirroring James’ actions and Q ended with both of his arms trapped by the agents. “Should I be worried about this?”

 

“Tell us to stop and let you go and we will,” James assured him, moving a bit closer to Q but waiting for him to seal the deal with a kiss – which the young man did and Alec latched his lips to the back of his neck, arms sneaking up James’ chest.

 

They were interrupted by the sound of a speed boat approaching and Q instantly jumped up and ran to his hut, bringing the computer back to life to check who it was. He sighed in relief when he saw that it was his doctor friend and ran ahead to greet her, but the two agents had a bad feeling about everything.

 

The woman jumped off of the boat before it actually fully stopped, running to Q and scooping him up in her arms, hugging him tightly. “My dear, when I heard that sailors saw a fire on here, I thought something bad had happened.”

 

More people stepped off the boat just as the agents appeared by the little dock, counting how many of them were armed and growing worried when they realized that everyone – the woman included – had at least two guns. And they weren’t getting any friendly vibes from them and every bone and muscle in their bodies screamed at them to get Q out of there.

 

“Ah, I see that your friends are feeling better. Walking on their own feet and still here,” the woman said in a disappointed voice, smile wavering which was even noticed by Q, his own mood switching from happy to slightly worried.

 

She stepped in front of him and the men created a circle around him, the tallest one grabbing his arm to keep him from moving. “Hey, stop that. It hurts! Let me go! Trish what’s going on?”

 

The woman turned her head and clicked her tongue, the tall man’s hold on Q relaxing a bit but not enough for him to be shrugged off. “Do be gentle with the boy, Boris. I’m the only one allowed to play doctor with him.” She pulled out a gun and shot in the agent’s direction, both of them ducking in time and taking cover behind trees. “Great reflexes, 006 and 007. I do wonder if your little toy can do the same from close range.” When she turned the gun towards Q, something exploded on the island and he used that opportunity to run towards his agents.

 

Alec pushed him in front of him and all three ran towards the hut, Q diving under the bed and pulling out a large box which he popped opened and revealed all sorts of guns, lighters, rings and iPods. “They’re all weapons I built to protect myself. Touch the computer’s screen with your thumbs.” He quickly pushed a few buttons and the side of the guns turned green. “Now you two can fire them as well as me.”

 

Gunfire came from the outside, but it did almost no damage to the door, since Q had the entire hut built out of bullet proof materials. He turned on a lighter and threw it out the window, the little thing exploding and taking out two shooters.

 

“How romantic, Q.” Trish shouted, kicking the food around. “And here was me trying to offer you my friendship and a lot of money in exchange for your services, you pathetic little boy.” She emptied a gun in the hut’s general direction, not carrying that she got two of her men in the back. “So much wasted time where I could have simply sent a blond man to fuck you into the mattress. You’re so pathetic, Q! Rolling on your back and opening your legs for the first man that takes you on a picnic?” She threw the empty gun towards the hut in blind anger.

 

Alec walked over to the window and tried to take her out, but a man jumped in front of her and took the bullet. “Ignore her Q, you’re anything but pathetic and when we get out of this in one piece, we’ll take you on so many other dates.” He promised, winking before starting to curse when he saw more armed men surrounding the hut.

 

“Do you really think I don’t know that?” Q asked, snorting and shaking his head as he continued to type furiously, yelping and covering his head when one of his screens got filled with bullets. “You psychopathic twat, that was my favourite screen!”

 

James returned fire and took out two more people, throwing another lighter before crawling over to Q and starting to check him over for any injuries. “We’re starting to run low on bullets, but it doesn’t seem like she’s running out of men. Tell me there is a secret underground escape tunnel around here somewhere.”

 

Q looked away from the screen, huge grin on his face as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “I actually do and the great thing is that she doesn’t know about it. But before we go through it, plant the iPods around the room and then tap on the red one five times.” The screen behind him went red just before it also got destroyed and James pulled the man to the floor with him, Alec throwing the rest of the lighters out the window. “It’s under the bed and I hope you can fit through it since I had it done for a skinny man, not for muscled and well-built agents.”

 

“I’d ask you to stop it, but I love getting praise from a genius man that looks as good as you do,” James said before giving him a quick kiss, crawling to the bed and pushing it aside just as Alec finished tapping the red iPod. “Alec you go first, Q you second and I will bring up the rear just in case.”

 

Q tossed Alec a little torch which the man turned on and stuffed in his mouth before going down the tunnel. It wasn’t as low as the James had thought, nor as narrow as Q had feared, and all three of them went on their hands and knees as fast as they could, Alec hitting his head when the ground shook and he tried to jump up, turn around and fire behind them.

 

“It’s okay, those were just the charges that went off,” Q whispered, resting a hand on the man’s lower back. “Keep crawling, we’re almost at my escape boat.”

 

“Love, if we weren’t trying to escape a madwoman and her army, I’d turn around, pin you down and have my way with you right now while James probably tried to find a way to join in on the fun.”

 

James moved over Q and pinched Alec’s leg. “You forget that I have him a better position than you currently do since is under me as we speak, so it is you who would try to find a way to join in.”

 

Q sighed and rolled his eyes, holding back from hitting the agent’s chest with his head and hurting him. “Children, we are currently trying to escape a dire situation, so can we please move along fighter over who will get blue balls when we’re safe?”

 

They crawled for a few minutes before Alec hit a dead end, pushing the wooden lid and jumping out, pulling Q next to him. He turned to look at the side of the island that was burning, people shouting in all sorts of languages before Q grabbed his arm and started to run with the other man a step ahead of him.

 

“We’re here,” Q announced, coming to a sudden stop, pointing towards a tree that had a sand mount right next to it. “The boat is right under there. We’re almost safe!”

 

But his happiness was short lived, a loud shot ringing out. He fell to his knees and clutched his injured shoulder, yelling in pain. Both agents moved to cover Q’s body as Trish stepped from behind a tree, men with guns jumping out from the sand and flanking them.

 

“Not such a clever boy, are you Q? The people who you had dug that little tunnel of yours were rather easy to track down and were more than happy to cooperate when I mentioned how much I loved kids.” She laughed, shooting James in the leg and Alec in his arm. “But a very good trainer. Tell me, did you use your body to get these two British dogs to shield you with theirs despite the fact that you are not tied to their precious MI6 or M.”

 

Q spat her, looking quite smug that he managed to get her right between the eyes, Alec ruffing his hair while James moved to fully shield him from her. “Why do you assume that I’d sell my body? Is it because that’s what you had to do for most of your life to get anyone to listen to you or do what you wanted?” He tried to sound brave, but his voice was shaking and his arms were tightly wrapped around James.

 

She aimed the gun at the back of the agent’s head. “A pity that I have to kill you, Q. But at least I’ll eliminate these two thorns from Number 1’s side once and for all.” She laughed again when she heard him mutter apologizes to both agents, but before she could shoot, two helicopters appeared above her head and started to gun down her people.

 

Alec moved from behind Q and tackled Trish before she could fire while James picked up a gun and shot the men that the choppers had missed. “I turned off the jammers and sent a distress signal to every agency.” James turned his attention back to him, pushing down on the wound to try to get it to stop bleeding.

 

Trish managed to land a punch right where Alec was hurt and bolted. “You’ll die by my hand, you brat!” She promised as she disappeared into the forest, Alec shooting a few bullets in her direction just for good measure.

 

“It’s okay Q, don’t talk anymore. We’ll get you on that boat and zip right out from under their noses.” He kissed the top of his head and tried to calm him down. “Alec, go get the boat ready.”

 

“I told MI6 you are alive and in possession of me, but that you’re at risk of getting me killed if they don’t send back up. This is them.” Just then both of the choppers shined their lights down on them, a male voice arguing with was surely was M over who had gotten there first and got dibs on the hacker.

 

Alec managed to get both Q and James into the boat, sailing away before the agencies’ heads could figure out what was happening and give chase. “If I didn’t have to play captain, I could kiss you Q,” He shouted, worriedly looking at the thin man as he was becoming paler with each second that passed. “There’s a backpack filled with money, a fake passport and a laptop. We’ll just pull into port and bribe our way into a decent hospital that will treat us without paying too much attention to who we are and then Q will get us fake IDs and we’ll be set for a while.”

 

James cradled Q’s head in his lap, resting his forehead on top of his. “Alec and I will go back to MI6 when M calms down and say you gave us the slip. I’m sure we can hide you from her somewhere.”

 

But just as he finished saying that, the speedboat was lifted into the air by a submarine emerging from the water, a large ship blowing its horn. “You two bloody agents sit right where you are and don’t even think about trying anything funny,” Eve Moneypenny ordered over the ship’s coms. “Someone will come get you on board and if I see a single hair on their head out of order, I am personally locking you up in a room full of psychiatrists!”

 

Despite the woman’s warnings, the two agents still looked like they were ready to take their co-workers on. “It’s alright, I know when I’m caught,” Q managed to say, allowing himself to be put on a gurney and lifted on to the ship, the two agents close behind him. “Can you please let them visit me in jail?” He asked the woman with curly hair and brown skin whose mouth dropped open at the sight of him.

 

“I’ll see what I can do…” She mumbled, snapping back to reality only when she saw the two missing and presumed dead double oh agents run after the young man, James limping more than actually running.

 

The only reason Medical managed to patch everyone up and pump the young man with enough morphine that the worlds was nothing but a faraway idea was because Eve allowed all three of them to be in the same room and gave up the idea of handcuffing the hacker to the bed.

 

“I cannot believe that he’s the hacker everyone wanted.”

 

Q giggled, but the agents looked offended for him. “He’s more competent than all of our current Q Branch workers put together and tested on their best day,” Alec snapped.

 

“Robbing cradles now, agents?” M asked, walking into the room with her usual sour face and dissatisfied frown. “And Miss Moneypenny, as someone working for a spy agency, I was sure you wouldn’t do something as stupid as to judge someone by the way they looked. The laptop that so far as managed to shock five of our technicians when they only attempted to open it proves that the young man who’s currently busy playing thumb wars with agent Bond is more than capable.”

 

James turned his head to smile at his boss, letting Q beat him again. “I am torn between feeling ecstatic about seeing you and disappointed that our little vacation has been ruined, M.”

 

She rolled her eyes and the two agents suddenly started to feel more lightheaded than before, dropping like deadweight in their respective beds, but still conscious. “And I am too tired to put up with the dramatics of either one of you.” She sat down next to Q and her face softened a bit, almost smiling when the green eyed man turned his attention to her and started to wave.

 

“A pleasure meeting you, madam M.” He suddenly started to laugh, repeating the last two words over and over again.

 

“We’ll talk when the drugs ware off,” was the last thing the agents heard, both of them slipping into unconsciousness.

 

The next time they woke up, they were both handcuffed to their beds and four security guards were in the room, clutching their Tasers. M appeared with the doctor, the old man listing off the things they weren’t allowed to do for the next month, happily reporting that the gunshot wounds didn’t affect any of their nerves and that they would probably return to field work before they knew it.

 

“Where’s Q?” James demanded to know, pulling on his handcuffs.

 

Alec was actually kicking and shouting for the younger man, the security guards throwing themselves over him to hold him down while a nurse administered a powerful tranquillizer to get him to calm down.

 

And M was cruel with them. “Safe.” That was all she said and casually walked out of the room, the security guards jumping on James so he could be calmed down via drugs.

 

Eve was the next to visit them and this time the two men remained calm even after she said that she had no idea where M had sent their Q. “But I am sure that he is safe and sounds. I think M has taken a liking to the kid.”

 

The agents were released five weeks later and Bill Tanner arrived to march them down to the MI6 new headquarters, explaining that a lot of changes had been done since they had disappeared and trying to get either of them to laugh at his jokes – but he was forced to fall silent and cough in awkwardness when they simply continued to glare at him, looking ready to beat the information they wanted out of him.

 

When M saw how gloomy the two agents looked, she rolled her eyes. “For goodness’ sake, grow up already. And make yourself useful by going down to Q branch and helping them test the new gadgets.”

 

They had wanted to argue, but the woman still looked like she was really close to labelling them at traitors, so they simply did as they were told. People hurried to get out of their way, some whispering in shock that the two still worked there and others had very strange smiled on their faces. Actually, the closer they got to Q Branch, the more people looked at them and smiled and that was

 

When they entered the testing area, everyone fell silent and carefully watched them as they made their way further in. It was because of moments like these that double oh agents were reluctant about going anywhere without their weapons.

 

“Well, that took you longer than necessary.” A familiar voice scoffed at them. “I get off at six only if all of my tasks are finished, you know.” Q continued to scold the two, turning to face them and putting his table down.

 

It was a lucky thing that Q managed to brace himself, the two agents almost pushing him down when they wrapped their arms around him and hugged him tightly, covering his face and neck in kisses.

 

“I knew M had working brain cells,” Alec muttered, running his hands up and down Q’s back just to be sure that he was really there.

 

James kissed him deeply and tangled his fingers in his hair, staring in his green eyes. “What happened?”

 

“I’m more or less working for MI6. I’m still on probation and three agents have been delegated to keep a close eye on me until M decides that I’m not a flight risk anymore,” Q explained, turning his head around to allow Alec to kiss him.

 

Still in their own little world, James continued to caress Q’s head. “Who are they? If they bother you, we can take care of them.”

 

Q tilted his head and smiled. “Miss Moneypenny is one of them and she has been a doll to me, eating with me and helping me get used with everything, so I would appreciate it if you’d stop giving her a hard time.”

 

Alec clicked his tongue and wrapped his arm around Q’s head, holding him close against his chest. “She’s corrupting our angel, James.” He rubbed his face against the soft hair he was afraid he wouldn’t get to see again, the security guards that suddenly appeared taking a few steps back when the young man signalled them to do so.

 

James watched them with narrowed eyes, cracking his knuckles in silent warning. “And who are the two? How are they treating you so far? And shouldn’t they be here as well, to provide you with protection?”

 

“Hm, well I’ve been told they can be quite a handful, always causing their superiors a lot of trouble.” He squeezed both of their arms gently, turning to arrange the gadgets on his work station in the order he wanted to test them. “It’s also said that if anyone does anything to the person they’re babysitting, they’ll rip them to shreds and then blow up London in retaliation and they have a six and a seven in their codenames. Do you know who they are?”

 

He was pulled in their arms again and covered in kisses, everyone else doing their best to pretend like the man that was supposed to become the future Quartermaster after receiving the proper training wasn’t getting his daylights snogged out of him right in front of them.

 

“I think you two will need a bigger bed, unless you still plan on having me sleep in Miss Moneypenny’s guest room?” Q teased, instantly regretting it since everything ended with him being the rope in a tug of war between the two men and Eve.

 

“He’s not going anywhere until everything is tested!” She shouted, turning to glare at the security guards who were trying to cease their snickering. “Get over here and help me!”

 

“No, no, we need to find a proper bed,” Alec insisted.

 

“And we have so many that we need to test,” James joined in, winking at Q who instantly turned red.

 

The whole thing eventually reached M’s ears and the woman simply poured herself a drink and sent the messenger away. “If I don’t acknowledge it, it’s not happening.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are pure love.


End file.
